Despite a massive uprising emanating from Libyan citizens, Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi still maintains that he has one secret weapon, that he believes is guaranteed to endear him to his people: Ebonics.
“I was watching American television, the BET, the Three 6 Mafia, and I couldn’t understand a word they were saying,“ said Gaddafi, “and I call my son, and he says, this shit is tight.”
Ebonics, the dialect alternatively known as “African American Vernacular English” or “Jive”, is generally known for housing the longest suffix in the English vernacular, -izzle.
Linguist Paul R. Frommer, Communications professor at the University of Southern California, also speaks of the merits of speaking in Ebonics. “Speaking in Ebonics has been proven to make you 52% hipper to a younger audience,” he said, “it can also make the speaker appear up to ten years younger and hipper.”
Later, speaking on Libyan television, Qwaddafi could be seen referring to President Obama as his ”homeboy” and Secretary of the State Hillary Clinton as his “down bitch”.
Ghaddafi has implemented this strategy, in conjunction with other policies designed to increase mass appeal. For example, he has recently enacted the Funky Fresh Initiative, which served no legitimate purpose, but had a catchy name.
Click through for the rest of the column by staff writer Ethan Freedman.
The town hall meeting was the second such event in as many weeks, and was organized to give the Stony Brook University community an opportunity to air grievances and offer suggestions on how best to fill the post.
Like last week, Wednesday’s meeting in the Wang Center Theatre was lightly attended, with no more than 30 people—mostly faculty—in the audience.
But the conversation was not short on opinions. Faculty from the research and science side of campus lobbied for candidates with a background in research, while representatives from the arts and humanities beseeched the committee to find someone who wouldn’t ignore their departments.
Click through for the full story by Editor in Chief Adam Peck.
Like always, Ralph Nader is mad as hell and doesn’t want you to take it anymore.
Nader, 77, did not mince words at a lecture last night at Stony Brook University, proving that he is as passionate, outspoken, and pugnacious as ever.
“We do not grow up civic,” the four-time presidential candidate told a rapt audience of college students and community members. “We grow up corporate.”
Nader’s speech, despite the buzz in the crowd, was not a warm-up for a 2012 run at the Oval Office, though he had no problem calling the campus crowd’s darling President Barack Obama a “Wall Street concessionaire.”
Launching his powerful voice from an animated, stoop-shouldered body, Nader decried the state of American affairs on all political, social, and economic fronts.
“This is a decaying society,” he said. “Nobody dies in Europe because they don’t have health insurance. Corporate serfdom exists because your expectation levels are so low.”
Click through for the full story by Managing Editor Ross Barkan, and check out the #Nader hashtag on Twitter for our live-tweeting from earlier this evening.
Ever heard someone order a “Ristretto Triple Grande 3-Pumps Sugar-Free Vanilla, Extra Foam, Caramel Drizzle, Skinny Latte” and wondered what on earth this means and how you, too, can order a drink with 26 (or 27, depending on your pronunciation of ‘caramel’) syllables? Starbucks has come to your rescue with the new Starbucks Signature Drink Builder, an online tool that lets you combine choices for everything from milk (and milk temperature!) to sea salt so you can create your own “signature drink” - one of 87,000 possible combinations. It also tells you just how to order it, putting all of your ridiculous specifications in the sequence preferred by the barista.
So, Tumblr-ers, go forth and order your “Iced Quad Grande 1-Pump Classic, 2-Pumps Raspberry, Soy, Extra Whip, Light Mocha Drizzle, Double Cup, Stirred, White Chocolate Mocha” (or whatever absurdity you happen to come up with), and be sure to let us know in graphic detail what kind of violence ensues when you actually try to request it from a barista. Try to do this when your preferred location is busiest for extra fun.
Peter King’s petulant hearings on the radicalization of American Muslims began this Thursday, much to the delight of the nation’s bigots and deceased Senator Joseph McCarthy. Most everyone not listed above have expressed their discontent with the Congressman, especially the Muslim community.
Representative King is well aware of the criticisms surrounding his tax-funded witch hunt. He began the hearings with a monologue defending their very existence. It included the phrase “not un-American.”
“Not un-American.” That’s just a way of saying “sure, this doesn’t comply with the values this country was founded on, but it’s not like McCarthy and FDR haven’t done it before” using a double negative.
Says Judith Regan, a former editor and publisher whom you may recognize from her Fox News talk show (or, more recently, Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker), “I’m thinking of going back into the publishing business just to publish Charlie’s book. Really! I think he’s a wordsmith and a genius.”
Well, ‘genius’ wasn’t necessarily the first word that came to mind upon watching his interviews, but let’s be honest, who wouldn’t buy that book?
Edward Quinn, an officer in the United University Professionals, spent the weekend before last occupying the Capitol building in Madison, Wisconsin in solidarity with the public unions in danger of losing their collective bargaining rights to a Republican state government.
Quinn’s weekend activities included joining in the protests, eating at the now famous Ian’s pizza, and remaining in the Capitol building after it was officially closed.
According to Quinn, there was nothing to worry about, even though he was breaking the law. The police, who are also unionized, were openly cheering for the protesters. Even if they wanted to, the police don’t have the time or the resources to arrest all of them. A policeman even joined the protesters in occupying the building, risking his own arrest.
There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate. [TPM]
By “things happened in my life that were not appropriate,” of course, he means cheating on his former wife (who had recently been diagnosed with MS, according to TPM).
Because, you know, that’s a completely normal and acceptable way to deal with stress. Especially when you’re trying to force the President of the United States from office because he had an affair of his own.
Mike Huckabee has found an interesting issue to kick off his 2012 campaign on: Natalie Portman’s pregnancy. In a rant about Portman, Huckabee claimed that the Oscar-winning actress was “glamorizing” life as a single mother.
He went on to explain that “Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can’t get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have health care. And that’s the story that we’re not seeing.”
Portman’s story doesn’t read anything like that. She’s an Oscar-winning actress who can probably afford food and health care. In fact, the ‘single mother’ is engaged to Benjamin Millepied, the child’s father.
Leave it to a Republican to think that those women are in that situation because they want to be. Or that single mothers are somehow more of a strain on the system than deadbeat fathers.
Sheen released a statement to TMZ today regarding his firing:
"This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of their bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.”
Christopher Hitchens, the controversial author and high-profile atheism activist who was scheduled to speak at Stony Brook University tomorrow evening, has canceled his appearance citing health risks. He was diagnosed in July with terminal esophageal cancer.
The short notice suggests that Hitchens’ health may be wavering. His health has been quickly deteriorating since he was diagnosed nine months ago.
At a Tea Party event this past January, New Hampshire’s Republican House Speaker Bill O’Brien was caught on tape describing his issues with young voters, presumably to explain the reasoning behind the state’s GOP-sponsored measures to disenfranchise young voters:
They go into these general elections, they’ll have 900 same day registrations, which are the kids coming out of the schools and basically doing what I did when I was a kid, which is [vote liberal]. They don’t have life experience and they don’t have life experience and they just vote their feelings and they’re taking away the town’s ability to govern themselves, it’s not fair. [TPM]
Well, let’s take a look at what some adults contribute to the political process:
yes,obamas aunt zunuti,lives in ny where she,s been liveing for 30yrs.sucking off welfare and disability illegally.they sent her letters to leave the us twice but she ignored them and of course no one did anything about it.then obama got in and they gave her immunity,now she continues to bleed america dry like millions of other illegal immigrants.african,and mexican.got a love it.working to support a bunch of lazy turds.uh oh,there i go useing that bad word again liberal,white trash ho.better check my spelling too since thats all you idiots focus on,not the truth of things,and on welfare or a gov,t worker.lowest kind there is.can,t wait until 2012.by by obama lovers.no more sucking off the federal titty.your al done bleeding america,ha ha. [InsideOswego]
Yeah, we students are definitely the ones everyone should be worried about.
Stony Brook Administrators held a town hall meeting Wednesday during about the drastic fee increases proposed by the bursar despite being interrupted by Radical Student Union protests. The heads of the departments receiving the funding each gave brief presentations on what the fees would pay for and how increases would improve student life.
The town hall was sparsely attended –– that is, until the Radical Student Union showed up. RSU members kept poking their heads in one at a time to see when the presentations would be over.
Once the floor was opened up for questions, the RSU and numerous other protesters stormed in. They lined the balcony, holding up signs and briefly chanting between questions. A few even stepped down to the microphones to comment for themselves.
It’s not shocking that Texas state Rep. Debbie Riddle, a figure embraced by the Tea Party, has introduced legislation into the state House that would make hiring an “unauthorized alien” punishable by up to two years in prison and a fine of $10,000. What’s a bit more surprising is her loophole that would exempt people hiring undocumented immigrants as housekeepers or gardeners from the law.
The reason for the loophole? If a version of the bill lacking the exemption was passed, “a large segment of the Texas population” would be vulnerable to prosecution, says fellow Republican state Rep. Aaron Pena. “When it comes to household employees or yard workers it is extremely common for Texans to hire people who are likely undocumented workers. It is so common it is overlooked.”
The staff of The Onion had best watch their backs. These Republicans are going to put them out of business.
As you’ve probably heard, the Wisconsin Capitol is pretty much on lockdown, with many constituents being turned away and the ones who manage to get in reporting procedures like having police posted outside restrooms while they’re in use. In order to allow constituents to avoid these restrictions (which, by the way, appear to kind of defy a court order) and actually access their assembly member, five Assembly Democrats have moved their desks outside to meet with the public. The observed high in Madison yesterday? 32 degrees. Respect.
Thousands of New Yorkers, including Stony Brook students, attended a rally in support of Planned Parenthood on Saturday that featured speeches from Senator Chuck Schumer, Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney, and Congressman Anthony Weiner.
The Stony Brook chapter of the FMLA sent at least 7 students to join in the protests, according to co-president Sabba Hussain.
According to witnesses, Christian fundamentalist Rev. Grant Storms was seen at the parking lot of Lafreniere Park in the driver’s seat of his van, “looking at the playground area that contained children playing with his zipper down,” apparently masturbating.
Obviously, Storms denies it. His airtight alibi? He had been enjoying a lunch at the park and was too lazy to go find a real bathroom, so he was peeing in a bottle. Which is so much better.
Either way, it’s just the kind of classy behavior you’d expect from someone who has repeatedly tried to disturb the peaceful gay festival Southern Decadence and railed against Catholics as being “satanic” and “demonic.”